All You Need is Love! *

All You Need Is Love!

A day where love among spouses, children, family, close friends and significant others is celebrated across the United States. A day where chocolates, flowers and cards are gifted to symbolize these love relationships. And although the day is a cultural creation, it is a wonderful day to remember those that we love and care for…whether physically here or in spirit.

“I Love You!” is the phrase most often expressed between those sitting (participating) on this side of the veil and those across the veil during our Voices Across the Veil sessions. It is the Force that binds us; it is the Energy that is felt throughout the session; it is the Bond that never loosens or gets severed but grows stronger after the session is long over. Knowing that those seemingly “loved and lost” are still very much “alive and well” means that Love is not just a cherished memory to desperately hold onto. It is an emotion to be actively expressed as it is strongly felt on each side of the veil. The tears flow freely during the sessions, but instead of tears of sorrow, they are tears of joy! The tears are of a love not lost, but found!

Support in Historical Writings
Historical writings of mediumistic communications confirm the power of Love during sessions:

“The dead still love those they loved in life, but they understand the emotion far better than they did before…”
William James
The Afterdeath Journal of an American Philosopher: The World View of William James, 1978

“…you’re trying to tell them that you still love them, that you haven’t gone anywhere, that you’re right there.”
The unnamed teacher through Betty Bethards
There is No Death, 1976

“…whether you know it or not, we must sometimes come back to those we loved on earth for love draws us there.”
Further Messages Across the Border-Line, no date

“If you think of them with love, with a sense of humor, this projects them higher, for you are putting out a higher vibration to them, which they can then use to be projected outward into their advancement and growth. By putting out light, happy, cheerful vibrations, you are sending love. This is praying for them. It is enabling them to use that energy to gain higher admission to other realms. Just talk to them in love.

“Q: We can actually help them to advance?

“A: Yes, all souls should be given that love, and that prayer, that sense of humor, the jokes that you can send to them, for this is helping them advance too. It is also showing them that you can carry on without their actual physical presence being there and gives them a greater sense of freedom.”
Unnamed spirit teacher through Betty Bethards
There is No Death, 1976

“When I first arrived my strongest desire was to try to demonstrate to the friends I left behind the fact that I still lived.”
William James
The Afterdeath Journal of an American Philosopher: The World View of William James, 1978
Is it always a “happy ending”?

However we would be remiss in suggesting that every Voices Across the Veil session as well as other mediumistic communications always have a happy or satisfied ending. While 85% of sitters report in the Voices Across the Veil post-questionnaires that they received accurate, recognizable communications, what about the other 15%? Why didn’t they receive recognizable communications from their loved ones? After all, they signed up out of love hoping to hear from loved ones as well, didn’t they?

Our sitters come from around the world. Some have little to no education and others hold medical and doctorate degrees. They range from 18 (some younger, with parent’s permission, of course) to over 70 years in age. Their beliefs span atheistic and agnostic views, to beliefs in the major worldwide organized religions, to “other” beliefs. The sitters who have participated are from all walks of life indeed.

We have measured a wide range of attitudes toward death as well as their level of anxieties and fear of death. While we still need to conduct deeper analyses of the effects these may have upon the outcomes of their sessions, there are a number of other factors that we have noted from having participated in over 100 of these sessions as monitors. Rather than weigh you down with statistics, we would like to point out the more personal factors in a 5 part series that appear to detrimentally affect the outcome of these sessions. Since it is Valentine’s Day we felt our personal observations would be more meaningful and would be helpful if you are at all considering on participating in one of our sessions or in any session with a medium.

There are some videos on our Patreon page that might interest you if you’d like to know more here. The second video has some charts that reflect the above data.

Love Begets Grief, But Too Much Grief…

It is healthy and natural to experience grief in the loss of someone you love. The quirks and idiosyncrasies fondly recalled, the remembered laughter, gentle touches and the intimate sharing are no longer physically present. Even the little irritations that aggravated you to no end, no longer seem important, they would be easy to put up with now if only the person was still around. There may be things you wish you had said, but now must remain unspoken. Yes, sadness and grief are the natural ways that we, as humans, have learned to cope with loss, with permanent change in the way we must go forward with our lives. But some of us take it to an extreme. It affects our desire to live, our routines seemingly irreparably disrupted, it affects us physically, and some even close down and shut off living their life to the fullest. It also closes us off energetically. And energy is how those on the other side react and communicate through mediums and with you directly. So what happens when the energetic connection is disrupted? It affects communication with spirit vibrationally. It also reflects the core of your actual beliefs.

Extreme Grief Reflects Disbelief in the Afterlife

It is well known that scientist’s can affect the outcome of their experiments by their expectations and beliefs in the ultimate success or failure of them. Those expecting negative outcomes or at least disbelieving in a high probability of obtaining a positive result generally achieve exactly that whereas those expecting success or believing it is possible achieve likewise. “…experimenters’ expectancies can be conveyed subtly to the participants in an experiment so as to create a self-fulfilling prophecy…This concept has been since studied in hundreds of experiments…It has been repeatedly shown that expectations unintentionally affect the responses of research participants, pupils, jurors, employees, and patients.” (Dean Radin, Entangled Minds, 2006)
As difficult as it is to say this, we must be blunt. Extreme grief reflects a disbelief in an afterlife and more of a belief that the person who has passed can only now be found in the cemetery…they are dead and gone.

“It is no use saying you believe when you feel sad. No one who really believes can ever feel sad. The measure of your grief is the measure of your unbelief… All sorrow is the register of the spiritual thermometer of our unbelief.” (Julia Ames, After Death, 1914)

The combination of lowering oneself vibrationally through extreme grief and the inner expectations/belief that you will not really receive a communication, no matter how much you verbally express that you want to, will tend to hinder both the medium and the person who has crossed the veil. In essence you get what you expect. We have seen sitters come into Voices Across the Veil sessions hiding the video portion of their screen so that they cannot be seen. Clearly they are grieving deeply, and are hoping to be proved wrong regarding their inherent disbelief. The fact of the matter is it would be better if they hoped to be proved right about their belief in an afterlife. Healthy grief with even a little belief in the possibility of an afterlife opens up the person energetically and makes it easier for both the medium and the one who has crossed to deliver messages. Healthy grief and sadness is akin to parents whose child has left to live abroad. They know he or she is alive and although their life will have changed because the child will no longer be present, they know he or she will be fine and wish them well. They can easily pick up the phone or video chat to see how things are going. Extreme grief is the equivalent of parents disowning their child because he or she is leaving and severing ties completely. It is a disbelief, with perhaps grief, guilt and anger included, in ever seeing or hearing from them again and can result in just that. By remaining energetically open, we open a conduit of love and communication, whether through a medium or directly to ourselves.

“The spirit world disapproves of mourning in every shape and form. Genuine, heartfelt sorrow is a human emotion that none of us is secure from, but so much mourning is spurious. Here we can see just what is taking place in the minds of the mourners. Mourning as a rule is utterly selfish because people are not sorry for the soul who has passed on except in so far as it is thought that he is now infinitely worse off ‘dead.’ The great majority of people are sorry for themselves at the physical separation, not happy and glad that their friend has gone to a greater, grander, more beautiful life.” (Monsignor Robert Hugh Benson, Here and Hereafter, 1957)

Extreme Grief Affects Spirit in the Afterlife

But there is another reason that extreme grief can be negative. It can affect the person who has just transitioned. The newly transitioned person wakes up in a new world, a new energetic body, and depending upon how death occurred, may require assistance from those on the other side to get acclimated to their new environment. They also will learn how to communicate with those on earth since they will have no idea how to in their new form. The newly transitioned also feel the grief of those still mourning them on the earth plane intensely. As such there is not only a rather steep learning curve involved for the spirit, but the person also feels the pull of those back on earth over their crossing. Extreme grief is of an intense lower vibrational quality and can affect the soul’s progress and learning in the spirit realm. His or her love for those left behind, plus the intense emotions being generated there, may result in a type of protective sheltering that those assisting the soul provide. In essence, communication can often be limited if possible at all. It is equivalent to trying to read a book while music is blaring in the background. One part of you wants to get up and shut off the music while the other part wants to intently read. The distractions are too great to do either one well especially since in this case, the music cannot easily be turned off.

“The primary need of the soul on arrival ‘over there’ is to be free, free first to sleep and then to learn how to use the new form now clothing him, and to begin to understand the strange conditions by which he finds himself surrounded. For these purposes it is imperative that all emotional disturbances should be avoided, especially those caused by the grief, depression, regret (and sometimes fear) of those he has left behind. This is especially important in cases where belief in an after life is faint or non-existent.

“It is here that Providence steps in and acting at her most merciful, screens the soul (temporarily) from all these mundane contacts which could disturb or delay progress and understanding.

“For those who do not realize the need for this protective screening process, what appears to be loss of contact can prove distressing. The ‘Interlude’ in question may last for weeks or even months of our ‘time’ and varies with each individual.”
Wellesley Tudor Pole

Private Dowding. The Personal Story of a Soldier Killed in Battle, c. 1917

So to those who are deeply grieving to where your outlook on life and living is affected, we suggest looking closely at your beliefs first. It is not imperative that you devoutly believe in an afterlife, but perhaps begin by accepting it as a possibility. This will open an energetic conduit. In addition, you may find that a grief councilor is helpful. Also remember that “if” the afterlife exists, and “if” grief can detrimentally affect the soul, then thinking differently in a more uplifting, positive way will not only help you, but also assist the soul. Then, when they’re ready, they will try to communicate with you and you will be more likely to receive their messages.

We can’t imagine anything worse than to be deeply grieving and, through a lack of communication in a mediumistic session, having your deepest fears seemingly confirmed. In loving someone going on a long journey, we would never wish for a plane crash or a boat they were on to sink. Instead, we’d wish them the happiest of journeys with all our heart. So give them a chance, and yourself as well, there is no proof that there isn’t an afterlife and plenty of proof there is.

“There are positive and negative energies which you can put out, and you must be very careful that you don’t put out the negative towards them because this, then, will pull them back down into the harsher vibrations of the earth plane. By putting out light, happy, cheerful vibrations, you are sending love. This is praying for them. It is enabling them to use that energy to gain higher admission to other realms. Just talk to them in love.”
Unnamed spirit teacher through Betty Bethards
There is No Death, 1976

So take the Force and Energy of Love and create a Bond that will last forever, because it does.

Happy Valentine’s Day from all of us at AfterlifeData. Please visit our sites at:

Written by Dr. Dennis Grega, co-founder






Edited by Michelle Szabo, RMT, co-founder

* With a special thank you to The Beatles for the title inspiration!